"If a relationship was actually that abusive, a person would just leave."
When it comes to domestic violence and abusive relationships, there seems to be a societal view that if the abuse is that bad, why doesn't a person just leave? There becomes a societal stigma, whether said out loud or not that a women must have done something to be abused, or enjoys the abuse.
Authors Nancy Rhodes and Eva Baranoff McKenzie (1998) write "battered women learn to see themselves as functionally helpless and powerless to escape their situation. Therefore, they remain not because they want to but because they believe there is no point in trying to get out....the repeated batterings, like electrical shocks, diminish the woman’s motivation to respond.". Women often try their best to improve the relationship, thinking if they just did "such and such" different, or cared more, things would be better."A significant number of women remain in violent relationships due to their belief that they can save their partners from violence. If she perceives herself as competent in all or many other areas of her life, a woman who experiences violence form a partner assumes that she merely needs to find the right technique or behavior that will cause the violence to cease. To leave would be to admit failure and defeat, and would be abandonment of her needy, helpless, and dependent partner"(Rhodes & McKenzie, 1998).Victims of domestic violence often blame themselves to gain some control of their environment (which may also effect them staying with abusive partners), heightening the stigma of society blaming them for abuse/staying. Emotional dependency is created by isolation of the woman. Women in domestic violence relationships are often isolated from their friends, family and frequency of public activities (1998). The psychological problems created by living in a domestic violence relationship also create issues in leaving, Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) conclude "the experience of living in a violent relationship clearly affects a woman’s psychological state. Battered women tend to have a high prevalence of psycho-sexual dysfunction, major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder.".
Within the relationship comes a fact of traumatic bonding and Stockholm syndrome,“physical abuse may increase battered women’s need for love and affection”. The motivation to gain love may be so strong that it somewhat mitigates the abuse endured to obtain it." (1998). Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) also use the reinforcement theory to explain why women may stay in an abusive relationship and endures abuse, "A woman tries to escape the fear of the tension building phase. The eventual violence she experiences increases that fear. However, after the abusive incident, the tension and fear are relieved (negative reinforcement). That is, removal of the fear reinforces her staying in the relationship"(1998).
Often when women try to leave things get even more dangerous, Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) found "that chronically battered women suffered fewer incidents of bodily harm per year than those who left the abusive relationship (and) concluded that a battered woman’s terror is appropriate and that her fears that separation would make violence worse were accurate".
Many people believe it is so bad a victim should just call the police. Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) found that the police was rated as often unhelpful by victims. "There is a great deal of variation in the amount of training in domestic violence that police departments receive, as well as in the laws which govern when an arrest can or must be made." (source). Reported data studied from the National Victimization Survey (NCVS) for the years 1987–1992, finding that sustaining an injury increased the extent to which women reported their victimization to the police and the likelihood that their assailant would be arrested. Women who reported that this was the first time they had been attacked by their partners were more likely to report to the police, and first time offenders were more likely to be arrested. Unmarried offenders were arrested more frequently than those who were married to their victim. Black women were more likely to report their victimization to the police than their White counterparts, and Black men who victimized Black women were more likely to be arrested than White men who victimized White women. Police were more likely to arrive on the scene within 10 minutes if the offender did not have a violent history, and responded more quickly to victimizations that occurred in a public place rather than in a private residence. These results suggest that women whose husbands repeatedly abuse them in their own homes may be the least likely to receive quick and effective police intervention." (1998). It was also found that when police were called to intervene/help during domestic disturbances, abused women were often arrested at a surprisingly high rate. "data suggested that officers who preferred to arrest the woman were more likely to believe that domestic violence is justified in cases of infidelity, were less likely to believe that victims stay for practical reasons, and were less comfortable talking with the victims." (1998).
Often battered women find themselves in the need of medical care in the situations of physicians office or emergency room. Often battered women are not given proper intervention because of “discrediting attributes” (e.g., alcohol on breath, have taken drugs, act in crazy or inappropriate ways, or are evasive about the source of their injuries) (1998). Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) found that emergency room staff did not often respond to women they viewed as discrediting and some staff members viewed domestic violence as a personal problem and questions about it as intrusive/unneeded. Overall Emergency Room staff "tend not to see responding to battering as a central part of their medical role." (1998).
With this information it must be realized the importance of women's reporting being received appropriately, as well as the emotional/psychological factors involved with leaving a domestic violence relationship.
Source: Rhodes, N. R., & Mckenzie, E. B. (1998). Why do battered women stay? Aggression and Violent Behavior, 3(4), 391–406. doi: 10.1016/s1359-1789(97)00025-6
Picture source:https://www.marydemuth.com/i-was-raped-now-i-hate-sex-now-what/
Authors Nancy Rhodes and Eva Baranoff McKenzie (1998) write "battered women learn to see themselves as functionally helpless and powerless to escape their situation. Therefore, they remain not because they want to but because they believe there is no point in trying to get out....the repeated batterings, like electrical shocks, diminish the woman’s motivation to respond.". Women often try their best to improve the relationship, thinking if they just did "such and such" different, or cared more, things would be better."A significant number of women remain in violent relationships due to their belief that they can save their partners from violence. If she perceives herself as competent in all or many other areas of her life, a woman who experiences violence form a partner assumes that she merely needs to find the right technique or behavior that will cause the violence to cease. To leave would be to admit failure and defeat, and would be abandonment of her needy, helpless, and dependent partner"(Rhodes & McKenzie, 1998).Victims of domestic violence often blame themselves to gain some control of their environment (which may also effect them staying with abusive partners), heightening the stigma of society blaming them for abuse/staying. Emotional dependency is created by isolation of the woman. Women in domestic violence relationships are often isolated from their friends, family and frequency of public activities (1998). The psychological problems created by living in a domestic violence relationship also create issues in leaving, Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) conclude "the experience of living in a violent relationship clearly affects a woman’s psychological state. Battered women tend to have a high prevalence of psycho-sexual dysfunction, major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder.".
Within the relationship comes a fact of traumatic bonding and Stockholm syndrome,“physical abuse may increase battered women’s need for love and affection”. The motivation to gain love may be so strong that it somewhat mitigates the abuse endured to obtain it." (1998). Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) also use the reinforcement theory to explain why women may stay in an abusive relationship and endures abuse, "A woman tries to escape the fear of the tension building phase. The eventual violence she experiences increases that fear. However, after the abusive incident, the tension and fear are relieved (negative reinforcement). That is, removal of the fear reinforces her staying in the relationship"(1998).
Often when women try to leave things get even more dangerous, Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) found "that chronically battered women suffered fewer incidents of bodily harm per year than those who left the abusive relationship (and) concluded that a battered woman’s terror is appropriate and that her fears that separation would make violence worse were accurate".
Many people believe it is so bad a victim should just call the police. Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) found that the police was rated as often unhelpful by victims. "There is a great deal of variation in the amount of training in domestic violence that police departments receive, as well as in the laws which govern when an arrest can or must be made." (source). Reported data studied from the National Victimization Survey (NCVS) for the years 1987–1992, finding that sustaining an injury increased the extent to which women reported their victimization to the police and the likelihood that their assailant would be arrested. Women who reported that this was the first time they had been attacked by their partners were more likely to report to the police, and first time offenders were more likely to be arrested. Unmarried offenders were arrested more frequently than those who were married to their victim. Black women were more likely to report their victimization to the police than their White counterparts, and Black men who victimized Black women were more likely to be arrested than White men who victimized White women. Police were more likely to arrive on the scene within 10 minutes if the offender did not have a violent history, and responded more quickly to victimizations that occurred in a public place rather than in a private residence. These results suggest that women whose husbands repeatedly abuse them in their own homes may be the least likely to receive quick and effective police intervention." (1998). It was also found that when police were called to intervene/help during domestic disturbances, abused women were often arrested at a surprisingly high rate. "data suggested that officers who preferred to arrest the woman were more likely to believe that domestic violence is justified in cases of infidelity, were less likely to believe that victims stay for practical reasons, and were less comfortable talking with the victims." (1998).
Often battered women find themselves in the need of medical care in the situations of physicians office or emergency room. Often battered women are not given proper intervention because of “discrediting attributes” (e.g., alcohol on breath, have taken drugs, act in crazy or inappropriate ways, or are evasive about the source of their injuries) (1998). Rhodes and McKenzie (1998) found that emergency room staff did not often respond to women they viewed as discrediting and some staff members viewed domestic violence as a personal problem and questions about it as intrusive/unneeded. Overall Emergency Room staff "tend not to see responding to battering as a central part of their medical role." (1998).
With this information it must be realized the importance of women's reporting being received appropriately, as well as the emotional/psychological factors involved with leaving a domestic violence relationship.
Source: Rhodes, N. R., & Mckenzie, E. B. (1998). Why do battered women stay? Aggression and Violent Behavior, 3(4), 391–406. doi: 10.1016/s1359-1789(97)00025-6
Picture source:https://www.marydemuth.com/i-was-raped-now-i-hate-sex-now-what/
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